This is it guys

Over and out.

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What almost happened last week

For the entire day last Wednesday, I was completely convinced that I wanted to discontinue this blog. What started out as a space where I was able to be myself, has transformed into a place where I need to watch what I'm writing because a lot of colleagues (both ex and current), friends and family members who know who Nags is, read this blog. Its not like I want to bitch about any of them (well, not all the time anyway) but its not a comfortable feeling. And I hate it when people ask me about or discuss a post I've written in the past.

Like "ohh is this what you meant when you wrote ...." or "ahh yeah, I know, you had mentioned it in your blog!". Gaahhhh!! I have no clue why this bothers me so much. But it does. Enough for me to go ahead and use a big word today. I abhor it. Yes, I don't think I've used abhor in a sentence before. Its not a very pleasant word, you see.

Anyway, so yeah. Unbloggable things happen and its unbloggable not because of what I want to write but because of the people who read and may feel confused/hurt/happy/weird whatever. I don't like that.

What does this mean? Am I going to stop writing here?

Maybe.

See the thing is, I abhor it (again!) when people "kill" their blogs. But you know what's worse? Killing it once and then resurrecting it. I mean, you post about it saying 'this is it, adios, I am done, my job is over" and then a week later - bham! - you're back. They break your heart (or something like that) and then come back asking you to pretend that never happened. What the heck?!

So the bottom line is, as tempted as I am to "kill" this one, I need more time. It can't be an impulsive decision. I need to think out things like do I still keep the archives open? When I open up another blog, should I use Wordpress (cuz there sure as hell will be another blog, a completely anonymous one - the mere thought makes my spine feel weird!), what name should I blog under, etc etc.

Its a tough decision but one shall be made soon.

And no, this is not a post that's meant for you to tickle my ego and say "please don't do this". In fact, I already know some of you wouldn't want this but unfortunately, I can't wait to go back to writing for just me. And just like this blog got "discovered" somewhere along the way, I am sure the new one will be too.

Just that this time, they'll never know who the writer is ;)

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A title, you ask?

When you've been away from your blog as long as I have, its hard to make a comeback. I've been racking my brain over what I should write about, how best I can explain the prolonged absence from this space that I have always made clear is very dear to me. In the past few weeks, I opened my compose page many times, stared at it and stared some more before I closed it and continued work.

Yeah, so its work. The most common and cliche answer of them all. Damn! How I wish I had an exotic reason to give and then you all would be so in awe. Well, no such luck.

Its weird but somehow, I feel like the more I do, the more there is to do. The universe also seems to be plotting against me to make it worse than that by putting my team mate's mom in the hospital, sending him on an emergency leave back home. Why do these things happen? He was just back from vacation and all set to join us back. He spoke to his mom the day before and all was well. Anyway..

I can't promise I am going to go back to my three-posts-on-an-average per week kind of schedule. But I do promise that this is not the end.

Hell no.

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