Just

I wish I could just wipe off people from my life fully and completely.

- like cleaning a blackboard
- flicking a small bug off your arms
- binning an empty milk carton

You get the drift.

I can't function with negativity around me. Some seem to thrive on it though.

Pity. 

A general update

The past month or so has been quite busy in many ways. The in-laws are visiting and presumably, life takes on a different rhythm. I hardly cook anymore, there's dinner ready when we get home, I've played more cards than I ever have in my life before, some of the old spots we visited and forgot were revisited, so you know, just a different month just passed by. They leave on Sunday and I am telling myself it's time to get back to the old routine mentally, especially the cooking part.

Work is busy. It's gotten busy over the past few months but no complaints because I love my new role. Work-related travel has also picked up quite a bit and I have three trips planned in the next 45 days! For someone who saw the inside of an airplane just 6 years back, that's quite something, isn't it?

A good friend moved to Singapore so I am finally ending the almost-4-year-long hunt for companionship. I now have a good group of close and random friends here and I feel that's good. It's really good.

I think I have also come to terms with living in Singapore. When I travel somewhere and get back, I have this feeling of coming back home. But it's weird sometimes, like for instance, I wanted to set up a small herb garden somehow in my apartment (with no natural light anywhere) and I know I can find a solution if I put my mind to it but somehow I feel like I don't want to since life here is not permanent. I wish I could feel grounded to this place. At least I could call it my home for the next two years. It's been 4 years already anyway!

I also find myself attracted to the unnecessary luxuries of life - like a Mulberry bag. This from a girl who used to say "omg! why would anyone spend so much on a bag? you could buy a small cottage somewhere in rural India for that kinda money". Sigh... Such is life.

Anyway, the only way I can buy a bag like that guilt-free is to open up a fund and get people to contribute, which I may end up doing. Any of you up to send some spare change my way?

Happy weekend folks!

Arranged Love

Don't worry, I am not going to go into a comparison of love marriage vs arranged marriage vs arranged love marriage and try to prove one is better than the other. God no.

I've been thinking though.

As someone in a so-called love marriage, I can tell you this much. It's grossly overrated. Before any of you start imagining non-existent issues between TH and I, let me assure you there's nothing wrong. Like I said, I've just been thinking.

I know a fantastic couple whose marriage was as arranged as arranged can be. The girl is a close friend of mine and her exact words just after the girl-seeing ceremony was "Oh God, how can I ever marry someone who I don't know? Oh God, he looks gay, believe me!" I didn't know what to say. And no, he didn't really look gay to me.

Its been close to 5 years now and a year back, they had a beautiful baby girl and are more in love than any other couple I know. Today, we laugh at the memory of her reaction after meeting him for the first time.

Couple 2. Classic example of love marriage. Parents were dead against their relationship, they decided to tie the knot anyway. After 2 kids and 7 years of being estranged from their families, they now live in constant fear that one day their kids will resent the fact that they never knew their grandparents while growing up. This pressure is getting to them and the guy cheated on his wife and all sorts of messy stuff happened in their relationship. They are still figuring things out.

Couple 3. Arranged love. Guy meets girl. Love happens. Both families are happy because they've been family friends for years and years and would have probably ended up arranging this marriage anyway if the kids hadn't taken the initiative themselves. How much more ideal can it get?

Well, the couple will still be faced with dealing with the families on both ends, meeting their expectations of timeline for a grandchild, making their careers work, managing their finances - it's the same shit everyone goes through.

Family helps, of course it does. I am glad I have a mom who will listen to my achievements and feel proud, I am glad I have a sister I can sound out topics to and argue things out with, I am glad I have a brother who is more like a father always looking out for me. And I am really glad all these people like my husband. Hell yes.

But marriage is between two people. Yes, the families need to get along together but does it matter how well? How often do they actually meet? Once a year? Twice a year? That's less than how often you'd meet each other's friends so I would argue that getting approval from your partner's close friends is more important than the parents and extended family!

So let's focus on those two people as much as possible when they are considering marriage, shall we? The rest is all a gamble anyway. Good luck!

**this post was started many months ago and I left it in drafts. Just polished it up and added some more thoughts**